I'm going to Shaolin. What shouldn't I do?

Well, first of all, make sure you don't tell them that you know me. That's Russbo Rule Numero Uno. Mentioning "I know doc!" to Shi Yong Xin is just a major bozo no no. We all know that he truly does love me, but, why push it?

Back to what not to bring. First of all, get rid of the drugs. Now, the typical entry through customs in Beijing usually amounts to a wave and a "Hi", and that's it, if you're privileged. No doubt one could smuggle all sorts of weaponry and bomb making materials through Chinese customs, and no doubt, they'd probably be happy about it. Got Missile Technology that our last president didn't give them? Bring it in and share the wealth. But, never, ever bring drugs. Chances are, you won't get caught. But if you do, you, my friend, are in very deep shit. Leave that crap home. Period.

There was a day when computers and cameras and the like had to be declared at customs. It doesn't seem to be the case anymore.  Don't worry about devices like that. What you should worry about, are things like large knives, guns of any kind, nuclear weaponry, and pornography, of any kind. Again, bozo no no's.

But, what else shouldn't you do? Don't eat the ice cream in the local's little ice carts. They've usually defrosted a couple of times, and unless you want to clean out your bowels in a hurry, there's no reason known to man to eat them. They taste like shit anyway. Only drink water out of properly sealed bottles, wipe off your dishes, don't use the glasses unless you really rinse them out well with tea or water, and make sure your chopsticks didn't just come from the busy table next to you. As for foods, anything cooked is safe, anything fruit or vegetable that isn't cooked well needs to be peeled, and try to eat in at least, clean looking restaurants. Remember, the fields over there are fertilized with human shit, so, the potential for contamination is incredibly high.