Emails Four

Dear Wale,

Hey, that's my father!

rich

ATTENTION Richard Russell

YOUR MAIL WAS RECEIVED WITH SHORT CONTENTS, AS YOU MENTIONED THAT MR EMMANUEL, BEING MY COLLEGUE, WHO DIED IN AUTO ACCIDENT, IS YOUR FATHER. IT IS QUITE PITY, PLEASE MY DEAR, YOU ARE NOW BEING ADVICED TO SEND YOUR BANK INFORMATION IMMEDIETELY, SO THAT YOU CAN CLAIM YOUR FATHERS FUND, AS NEXT KIN. YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER AND FAX NUMBER I NEEDED FOR EASY COMMUNICATION,

YOUR URGENT REPLY IS NEEDED IMMEDIETELY,.

REGARDS
WALE

Hey Wale,

Did you know my father? I haven't seen him in many, many years. My mom used to talk about him quite a bit, though, I think she's a bit pissed off at him. Not sure how I'm going to break this news to her. As for my father's money, I'm going to have to make some sort of arrangements first, to try to keep this away from my mom, if you know what I mean. Please keep this between us, OK?

Thanks
rich

Attn: Richard Russell

How are you today, am happy to hear from you again,calthough I have been waiting for your quite response
for some days, I was wondering what is wrong.

My good freind I only knows your father as my colleagues in the office, but unfortunately on their way to official duty, they had an fatals accidient that led to his died,On checking his file in the office will finally fine your name in his diary and saw your name as his son, I now decided to write to you so that if you are in a position to be the next of kins so that you can claim his funds on his behalf and doing this to you because of the good relationship I had with your father, I don't want someone else to claim it that is why I have to inform you being his son.

I have heard what you said, as you mention let this be between us, so for now don't let anybody to know or even your mother try and keep it secrete as a man.

Kindly forward your bank information, immediately so that I can submit it to the bank for immediate transfer and your private telephone number and fax, I will be expecting your quite response.

Regards.

WALE

ATTN: MR. RICHARD,

How are you today my good friend? What is happening with you? I’ve waiting to receive the information but up till now, I couldn’t receive any.

My dear, listen very carefully, if you are not interested to claim your father’s fund, you let me know so that I can know what to do and you should understand that according to the banking rules where this money is deposited is after 3 and half years that
the next of kin could not claim the fund, the bank will now make use of it. So I advice you to be fast so that you can receive this fund immediately and your father’s wealth will not be in vain.

I will not forget to ask about your mum, I hope she is fine. Remember, you should not let her know about this because I know women, if she knows – she will be worried that is why we have to avoid her for the moment. You know for the wife to lost her husband is very painful, that is we have to avoid her knowing for the moment. I hope you understand all these.

I am waiting for your quickly response as soon as you receive this mail.

Remain blessed.

 Regards,

WALE
 

Hi Wale,

I'm truly sorry for the delay. I've been traveling internationally, and it has taken some time for me to get to my emails.

I greatly appreciate your understanding with respect to keeping this secret from my mom. Actually, it has little to do with the financial aspects of this transaction. You see, and, this is just between you and I now, my mom and my dad had quite the interesting relationship. Besides the beatings and the strap on toys, dad had this interesting, to say the least, desire to wear mom's clothing. I never quite understood it, and, neither did my mom. We both found his indiscretions, embarrassing, to say the least, especially when he was wearing mom's favorite pink dress, with the black bra and panties. I hope you understand, please, keep this to yourself.

As for the monies, I am in the process of setting up a US corporation with which to accept the funds. I think that in this way, I can keep the whole issue safely away from my mother. And, maybe, in the process, find some way to avoid the inheritance taxes. I'm working with the idea of setting up a non-profit corporation at this time. Please give me a little time, as this process is slow, to say the least.

Oh, by the way, what was dad wearing when he died?

rich

Attention: Rich.

How are you today, I hope fine, your mail was received and the contents quite understood. My good friend Rich let me make you to understand some certain things about this deposit. According to the banking rules in Nigeria, is that any deposited and after three and half years, and the next of king did not claim the fund, the bank will now transfer it into there own saved account for there personal use. And it have been long your father died in accident, I could have been writing you, but it was due to I wasn’t in the country for the past two years. Now am in the country, I decided to search for a relative or his son. But God so kind I succeeded by getting your mail address so that is all about the deposit. And mean while, this certificate of the deposit is in your father now that am sending you this message. So if you care for me to send it to you, I will gladly do so

Secondly, the most reason why am explaining all these is for you to hasten up so that your father sweat will not be in vein. I thank all mighty God that your father have a son like you who can take care of everything he has. so, Rich, try and make everything possible so quick. This is all I have to let you know about this because I think I really care and I will not want you to loose anything that he worked for in life before he died.

Rich, the rest of the necessary document will be issued to you by the bank.

Thanks
Remain blessed , Wale

Dear Wale

Truly sorry about the delay. I've been traveling in and around China, and internet access is hard to come by, to say the least.

My attorney is in the process of setting up that corporation I need. We've been discussion whether it should be a Limited Liability Corporation, (LLC), an S corporation, or a C corporation. He also suggested that I might be better off with a Limited Partnership, but, it's hard to make one of those things "non-profit", per US corporate legal rulings. I think that if I developed a "non-profit" corporation, like, maybe one that had some sort of religious affiliation, then I won't have to pay taxes on the money. You know, dad was a very religious type of guy, at least, from way back when, when I really knew him. Always talking to God. God this, God loves you, God loves everybody, always something to do with God. Dad wouldn't eat without asking God's permission. Dad wouldn't sleep without saying goodnight to God. Dad wouldn't shit without bowing before the porcelain throne and saying some sort of prayer for "good passage". Dad sure spent a lot of time talking to God. I think God even talked back to him.

I always wondered what God thought when mom did those things to dad with that little strap on device he so loved. I could always here him cry out, from behind their closed bedroom door, "OH GOD!", and, "OH GOD, IT HURTS SOOOO GOOD, DO IT AGAIN!" I never figured out quite what God was doing to dad, but, we all had an idea of what mom was doing to him.

I don't think God was too pleased.

Anyway, I'll get that corporate information to you soon. Trying to figure out a name for it though. Got any suggestions?

Stay well,

rich

Atten Richard,

how are you today? i hope fine. your mail was received and all the contest were well understood. to start with i have to make you to understand some important issue regarding this fund,the earlier the better you do everything fast so that you can receive this fund into your foregin account before the end of this month, because as i inform you earlier that all the banks here in nigeria is going to do there Audit for the yaer any moment from now that is why is very important.

secondly, there will be an election for new president here in nigeria any moment from now,why processing the necessary document with your lawyer.kindly forward your bank information and your private telephone number and fax so that we can submit to the bank so that they will start the process here in nigeria ,meanwhile you can also reach me on my privare cell number 234-8033199381 for easy communication as soon as you receive this mail get back to me immeidiatly.

Regards
wale

Attn: Richard,

How are you today my good friend? Secondly I have notcheard from you for some days now. What is the problemc over your side? I hope all is well? Listen I will like to hear from you, if you are no longer interested to claim this fund, kindly inform me immediately so that i will know the next step to take.

I will be quickly response as soon as you receive this mail.

Regards.

Wale.

Truly sorry Wale

I've been having some trouble with this corporation nonsense. The whole religious thing has not been working all that well. Some sort of rules about the "corporate officers having to wear robes", and, "drinking God's blood out of a golden chalice" stuff. Dad understood all of this, oh, I wish he were here to help me. I can just see him now, in his favorite pink dress, with the hem high up on his thigh, just barely covering the black garter belt, as he stumbled around the kitchen in those six inch high heels. Dad was tall, like me, well over six feet. He always hit his head on the damn door ledge when he wore those shiny black pointy shoes with the big heels. Yes, he would have known what to do with this corporation.

I'm a little lost here Wale, as I don't have too many people I can confide in. Dad always said to me, when I was just a wee bit of a child, "Don't ever trust a man that doesn't look good in a skirt." I've always followed that advice. In fact, it has led me to become disenfranchised with my siblings; a younger brother, who, though quite intelligent, likes to wear these "momo's", just like my grandmother used to wear, instead of the latest sexy fashions. In fact, he cried when he saw grandma, in her coffin, at her wake, as, she had been dressed in his favorite outfit. To think, his favorite outfit buried for all eternity. Oh, I can feel the pain. Can you feel the pain? Besides, my brother, though he had a good figure for a man, had these incredibly ugly legs. Wale, don't tell anybody this, ok? I'm really trusting you man. Yes, little Danny had these really ugly, ugly legs, that just looked hideous, regardless of the type of stockings he wore. Especially when he wore those purple nylons. No, wait, the black fishnets. Yes, the black fishnet stockings were the absolute worst. And, did I tell you, that little Denny just could never learn how to wear those high heel sexy type shoes, like Dad used to wear? Denny would stumble and fall all over the place. The day he fell down the cellar stairs was the last day he wore high heels. From then on, it was momo's and slippers. Pink, fuzzy, bunny rabbit slippers. Pretty cute actually; I even looked for a pair for myself, but, alas, my feet are too big.

No, I can't discuss this corporation with my brother. Can't discuss it with my sister either. She's too busy driving a tow truck in Seattle, when she's not fighting with her live in lesbian lover. God, how you can fight with a four hundred pound filthy pimply faced greasy haired woman is beyond me. But, my sister is tough Wale, real tough. She's got a nasty right hook that knocks that fat bitch over.

You got any nasty fat bitches in your life? I wish I had some. I miss my old girlfriend. All those folds of skin. All those body crevices that I could, well, I won't get into that. Oh, how I miss my dear old Eunice. Especially when she beat me with my baseball bat. Sniff.

I'll have the corporation set up within the next few days. Please give my regards to your new president. How does he look in a dress? Remember, if he doesn't look good Wale, you had better not trust him.

Your friend,
Rich

Dear Richard,

How are you today? I hope all is well with you? I am okay on my own side. I received your last mail which you sent to me. Although, I have been making all the necessary arrangement for you to receive your father‘s money without any stress. But I thank God all the arrangement is okay now.

Richard, I have advised you so many a time that you should not waste time in whatever you are doing to receive this money, at this moment I am sending this massage the bank where the money is deposited require the next of Kin to provide an account number where the money can be transferred into. So my good brother, I advise you now kindly forward your bank details/account number and your personal telephone and fax number for easy communication with the bank.

Finally, how is your mummy and other ones? I hope all is fine. So Richard, I will be expecting all these information immediately you receive this mail.

Thanks and remain bless.

Yours brother,
Wale.


Wale,

My deepest and most sincere apologies. I am truly sorry.

My life has been one of the deepest and most convoluted bastions of hell, full of turmoil and confusion, mistrust and misdeeds. Oh, what is the world coming too. I truly hope that life finds you better on your side of the pond. I've been quite ill, with pneumonia and other things, and I've had to put all of these important issues on hold. With me being ill with this SARS stuff from China, and my brother in jail for sexual assault (something to do with some overage girl and some underage donkey, a donkey found wearing a momo, no less), I've been horribly tortured in this life. What further ills shall befall me?. Oh woe. It's been a veritable nightmare my friend, a veritable nightmare. I shall try to just convey my travails in the briefest possible way, but I feel that I must tell someone, yes, someone must hear my wretched tale, a wretched tale of greed, and lust, and betrayal, and horror. Oh, I know that I can trust you Wale. I know that I can trust you. Please. listen to the horror that has been my life.

It all started with my brother, who, before he got arrested on that trumped up charge with the donkey, met this absolutely wonderful woman who, for the first time in his life, actually enjoyed shopping with him. They would go to stores like Victoria's Secret, and Fendi, and Macy's, and Ferrigamo, and just spend delightful hours upon hours, buying shoes, and dresses and bras together. And then, they would go home, and try everything on. They were such a couple, they really looked terribly good together. Personally, I thought that my brother looked better in a bra than his girlfriend, but, I didn't dare tell her that. She would get so hurt, so very hurt, when he wore the silk stockings with the two inch high platform shoes, with that tiny frilly little lace brassiere with the wire underthingies, you know, the wires that make those bad boys stick up and out, yea, but she would cry and cry and cry, all because he had longer legs then her. His girlfriend was quite short, oh, somewhere around four foot eight inches tall, but she had the largest ass that one could ever imagine in a woman. And she had fat legs. And, I might add, and don't tell anybody this Wale, for if it gets back to her, she'll be really, really pissed, she had, well, no breasts. Can you imagine a woman with no breasts? I mean, she had, well, just these nipples. These really tiny nipples, that, fortunately for her, were properly placed upon her chest. Now, if you want to see tits man, and I mean TITS, you've got to get over here to the US and see my brother's. Now, he's got a set of tits that would make a man cringe, fall on the floor, and pray to god for. Damn, I've always wanted a set like that, but, I don't like getting on the ground to pray to god, and I don't think I can afford the surgery and the hormone treatments. But, back to my story.

My sister finally went to visit my brother, on the other side of the country. She wasn't in the greatest mood. I guess riding in a tow truck for six days is kind of rough. But, she and her rather large and rather ugly lover finally made the trip, and, you know what, I was there! I had finally made the trip too! Mummy couldn't make this impromptu family reunion, because she forgot to take her medications one week, and the guys from the hospital had to come and tie her up and bring her back into lock down. But, it was nice, the rest of us, sitting around a campfire in my brother's living room, roasting marshmallows, and looking at pictures of dad. Damn, dad sure looked good in a dress. My brother must have inherited that. Did I tell you, that I look like shit in a dress? Oh, I guess we can't have everything in life. But, alas, there was little time for viewing videos of dad's old porn star days, for, imagine this Wale, you're just not going to believe it, my sister's lover, the tow truck driver, started putting the moves on my brother! Can you imagine that? My brother, sitting there in this sexy and very tight, black cotton dress, with the nice black silk stockings, high heels, and, I think, an unpadded strapless bra. Or, was he wearing a bra at all? Damn, I can't remember. But anyway, this bitch started putting the veritable moves on my brother, right in front of his girlfriend, and let me tell you, my brother's girlfriend was going to have nothing to do with that nonsense. No sir. She was going to have nothing to do with that. She got up, and punched my sister's bitch right there in the face. Damn near knocked her out. Which was fortunate. Damn, I was so happy that she didn't knock her out.

Because I wanted to.

So I got up, and got a baseball bat from my brother's room, that, well, my brother's girlfriend kind of uses on him, but we won't get into that now, and I whacked my sister's bitch off the side of her pimply ugly head. It was a good shot Wale, a damn good shot, because as I slammed this bitch in the side of the head with that bat, the Vaseline on it made me slip a little, and I also hit her in the teeth. Now, she didn't have very good teeth, but, that damn cigar that she always smoked, that damn thing went down her little throat, and she choked and choked and choked, and if it weren't for the paramedics that came, she would have died. Can you imagine Wale, dying from a cigar that you got stuck in your throat? I can't. The police couldn't. The judge couldn't either. And the jury, those damn inbred idiots, they couldn't believe it either. Wale, they just couldn't either. They thought that I hit that bitch off the side of her head with the bat, and then took a cigar and shoved it down her damn disgusting and smelly throat. They believed that bullshit, because that's what my sister told them! Can you imagine? My own sister. The one I raised and beat with my own two hands.

So, they put me in jail. And, that's where I've been for the past few months.

I won't get into any stories of what happened to me in jail, as Bubba told me never to talk about it, but, I will tell you this. While I was in the slammer, I put myself through law school. Taught myself man, everything I need to know. Gonna be a damn lawyer. Gonna steal from everybody I work for. And do it legally. Just like you. We're gonna be like two peas in a pod, like two turds in a toilet. Can you imagine that? Oh, and you know what? The first thing I did as a lawyer, was create a non-profit corporation, so that you could send me daddy's money. Oh, and remember, you promised, don't tell mummy about any of this. She thinks I was away in China on vacation, training in the martial arts with some world famous monks or something crazy like that. If she ever, ever finds out that I was in jail, oh, she'll just never understand about Bubba. Or Tyrone. Or our favorite little bitch in there, well, we all called him Jenny. Mummy would never, ever understand. And, once they untie her, and she gets out, she'd want all of daddy's money. So, promise me Wale, you're my best buddy in the whole wide world, promise me you'll never ever tell mummy about any of this.

So, I got that non-profit corporation put together. When I was in jail, I ran into a whole bunch of lawyers that I used to work with professionally. Actually, they came up with the name. I don't understand it, but they said, that because it's my favorite thing in the whole world, my favorite thing that is, other than talking to you, they created this name. Maybe one day you can explain it to me.

They call it the National Institute for Protecting Perverts, Lechers, Exhibitionists, and Strippers, or NIPPLES, Inc., for short. I just don't get it. But, I'm setting up the phone and other bank account stuff now.

Damn, it will be really nice to get all of daddy's money. I certainly need it now. Buying all those little rubber thingies for Jenny in prison surely kind of wiped me out. And, I have to buy my brother another baseball bat. Damn thing broke into two when I smacked my sister's bitch across the head with it. I never, ever broke one before, and god knows, my sister has seen a lot of wood during her upbringing. I guess they just don't make bats the way they used to.

Take care my friend,
Rich

Wale,

Wale? Are you there? Man, don't leave me Wale. You're my best buddy in the whole world man. I haven't heard from you in a long time. Are you ok? Please get back in touch me with me man.

doc

Wale?

WAAAALLLEEEEEE!