Hey doc,

Is it true that Asian pussy gets tighter the further you spread their legs?

Hmmmm. I'm not too sure about this. But, between you and I, I think that this issue requires far more research. I shall attempt to undertake a study immediately.  Get back to you soon.


I haven't heard from you in a while. How's the study going?

I've been having a little trouble finding the proper subjects. You know, these things have to be done scientifically, with the proper mix of unbiased subject material, in, I might add, rather large numbers. I'm working on it. Truly I am. I'm at a bit of a disadvantage here, as I only brought a small supply of money with me, and, there's a limit as to how much begging I can do in a day. I do have some pride you know.

The things that I do for you people.....



hi doc.

After watching CNN the other day I grew tired of luaghing at Colin Powell( No offence ) and then decided to luagh at some more Americans( No offence ) being stupid and uncultured.

So i turned on the jerry springer show.

I could not help but notice that you bear an uncanny resemblance to "Steve" , the big bald bouncer guy on the show.

mmmm, Perhaps thou hast got a secret identity ??? :)

bah, whatever. As a side note , how can the US. Goverment or Foreign Relations office alow something like the Jerry Springer show being broadcast out of the US ?

I have this vague suspicion that there are smarter and more cultured people living in the US , and perhaps you count as one of them ( seeing as to why the monks avn't abandoned their no violence policy and beat the crap out of you yet ) but does the image this show project not seriously injure the already tainted image of the American people ? mmmm, perhaps ol' Sadam will agree , eh, no. :)

whatever. this was stupid. forget all i said. by the way, this wasn't supposed to be an insult, doc.

then again, a not even vaguely related qoute that just popped into my head sheds some light of stupification, if there is such a word, on this subject.

The great bill cosby once said, whilst busy with one of his many olden comedy monolouges in one of the vegas cassinos :

" An American can eat anything ... As long as he has ... Two pieces of bread . "

That said have a nice day Don't kill anybody

I AM WATCHING heheheheh

ehm, bleh


AARRRRGH! I've been found out! Don't tell anybody. Damn, it's hard enough getting respect these days as it is.



Lol, finally got Mindy TV to work.

Nice idea, but she just lies there! Can't you pop your head in once in a while and do some tricks or something?

Well, if I put the damn camera in my bedroom, I assure you, it would be far, far, more boring. But I'll work on it. Just for you.



Its good to hear your doing better Doc, you had me worried there. So is there any babes at your school? My sifu's kung fu brother is opening up his own school and were doing the traditional lion dancing. My schools got two of 'em. I belong to one, Im the ass of the lion, but I really dont mind, cuz my partner is this really hot girl whoes got a real nice ass and i got a good view, lol. somethings dont change do they Doc.

No, some things never change. Gonna have to learn me some of that lion dancing shit one day...



Hey Doc,

How you doing over there? I have not been to church since you left. Not sure if I miss it, but The Blonde has not call for a month either. Life has been nice and quiet, no whores calling at 3 a.m. to pick her from work cause she is too drunk to drive herself home after rubbing some other guy’s crotch all night. No, I don’t miss that bitch.

Just war on TV, even the “Embedded Journalists” are fighting. MSNBC falsely reporting that Geraldo was being escorted out of Iraq, while he was with the Army’s 101st Airborne near Baghdad taking over the Bath Party’s HQ. Geraldo says that MSNBC lied because of someone who was still mad at him leaving. NBC announced that both NBC and National Geographic fired Peter Arnett, because he is a two-faced jerk. Stupid French want to help the US now rebuild Iraq, Bomb them too, right after North Korea. The world is really coming to an end, but Vegas was still packed this last weekend. Billy Joel and Elton John played at MGM Grand Arena. Great, the Drunk and the Fag on Pianos Tour 2003, one crashes into poles and the other swallows poles. Old Rock Stars are the worst, they go on stage and sing God Bless America and think they are doing something good for the world…. Why are they still able to fill an arena for two nights in a row in Vegas?.. They SUCK.

Anyway when you coming back? No Church for me till then.. I hate those whores.


Well, I'm glad I finally found out what my purpose was in life. Thanks for enlightening me.

See you soon,

The Whoremaster


Hope you're having fun in Thailand, we miss having you here...there's a shortage of people to annoy at the moment.


P.S. I finally got around to opening a local bank account out here, apparently the people who work at Wells Fargo don't share my sense of humor. He asked me where I worked, I told him I'm self employed. "The only problem is", I told him, "is that my boss is an asshole". Nothing. No reaction at all. He asked me for my fingerprint, I told him "Great, my criminal history is finally paying off." Again, no reaction. "I'm only kidding" I told him. "I know" he said. "They couldn't make the charges stick." I said. "Please sign here" he said. Fucking Nevadans.

Don't worry man. The WM will be home soon. Church awaits us. The fucking Nevadan whores await us. And it will be grand, once again...


What's up Doc?

Is it really that bad over there? I cancelled my trip because of SARS. Where are you know?

I tried calling you on your cell but I can't get through. Did they quarantine your ass? They'd probably do it just because a you're a big fucking ugly white boy.


They haven't quarantined my ugly ass. Not yet....